|Fun fact: I used to wear headgear at night when I first had braces. Search 'Jimmy' from Ed, Edd n Eddy.|
"I'm allowed to experience joy outside of social media. I'm allowed to keep my joy protected and to showcase my personal work whenever I feel like they're truly ready to be showcased..."
The first quarter of the year was a whirlwind. Returning to Dallas after such a fun experience filming in California with amazing humans was bittersweet. I wondered when I would be able to come back- what role would I be playing next? I prayed to be surrounded by genuinely supportive artists like that again. Dallas just feels different. Maybe I've just been here so long, I might be missing something?
It was a mix of incredible joy and sadness all at the same time. On the plane, my eyes glued themselves to the blue of the coast until all that was left was cotton candy white. Thankfully, I had self-tape requests waiting for me upon arrival. I had no choice but to pivot back to work for a few weeks so there wasn't much time I could sit with my feelings from the recent farewells. I hope this hard work leads me back to good people and projects that challenge me as an actor.
|Sometimes you just gotta believe you're Vogue worthy.|
One of the my goals this year was to produce my actor's reel while bettering my workflow as a self-taught filmmaker. Even though my actor's reel isn't ready for submission quite yet, I've been able to receive requests to audition for projects (commercial and film) quite regularly which I am incredibly grateful for, especially since I'm currently neither based in Los Angeles nor am I represented by an agency (yet). Last week, I finalized the shot list for a curious little scene showcasing a nosey young woman. She's set out to prove her best friend wrong about a certain man she is dating. Filming is set this April and pre-production is ongoing for more scenes.
I've also decided to set up an artist page on Buy Me A Coffee so that those who would like to keep up with my creative journey as an actor, screenwriter and filmmaker can follow along more closely there and support me beyond the traditional love-moji on Instagram (which we still love very much here). Support can contribute towards long days of writing in coffee shops, equipment to improve my filmmaking set up: camera, lighting, etc. and actor/special skills training!
|I've been attracted to these colors for the past two years.|
Makeup: Colourpop Cosmetics 'So Jaded' Palette; Lips: Wet n Wild | Top: ASOS
|If "going with the flow" was a person. C'mon.|
Since January, I'd been meaning to do another self-portrait session to get my mind off the stress and imposter syndrome that usually plagues me in between auditions. Art and emotion really go hand in hand. I try to always be intentional with the colors and pieces I choose, the textures and silhouettes I pick out, and the way I edit my photography. Everything is attached to emotion- how I feel or how I would like someone else to feel. I think that was really evident to me this time around. The words 'art', 'joy', and 'protect' have been surfacing throughout my prayers in the morning and at night. I feel like these intentions have been and will continue to be tools of guidance to help me flow through this busy season.
|Being open to life is such a beautiful thing. |
Protect this energy.
Find honest people who can keep your business protected.
In my previous entry, I wrote about embracing my dynamic. One thing I still continue to balance has been the relationship between myself, my art, and social media. These are my affirmations:
Although the nature of my work is based on appeal to an audience, I'm still allowed to feel no desire to post about everything I'm up to at every waking hour of any day. I'm allowed to experience joy outside of social media. I'm allowed to keep my joy protected and to showcase my personal work whenever I feel they're truly ready to be showcased.
|I meant what I said in that first and only quote.|
Last week, I sent my best friend in Houston the final edits from this recent self-portrait session. It's crazy to see how much I've really stepped into my style as a photographer- as an artist. I used to send her portraits and other kinds of photography I'd taken in the beginning of this journey. I would feel so unsure of myself. I used to be fearful of looking back at my progress. I worried that maybe I hadn't come as far as I thought I did but her support makes it hard not to notice growth. She makes me braver every year. You all make me braver with your encouragement.
|No one can take my sunshine away from me. Repeat.|